Searching For The Motivation....

Assignments deadline is coming near, but I haven’t had the motivation to do it all. I wonder why, usually this kind of time I will do as fast as I can to finish everything so I won’t suffer later. But… it seems that the energy and the spirit can’t help me going. It has come to this situation where now I’m in my final semester and just inch away from stepping into the real world, making my own money and buying things that I’ve ever dream of. Yeah, it seems that my main motivation now is just thinking about work, money, and cars. Nothing else in my mind.

This made me reminisce my past during in the previous college. As I was in the last semester, the motivation and the joy of graduating made me work faster than usual. I managed to finish most of the assignments 1 week earlier, something I never did in my life before. Now, I’m just an empty vessel floating and drifting along with time, watching and staring how time passed by. Where my motivation went I wonder? Was it been stolen? Impossible. Is it just right beneath my own heart but I’m unable to unlock it? Maybe but how? Am I going to walk this path that leads to my own doom? What is happening to me, what is wrong with me until I had to feel miserable like this? What did I lack, what did I miss?

There is one definite answer that I know, only time will tell whether I can make it or not. What I have to do right now is fight as the best as I could in this lonely struggle all on my own. Oh God, give me the light that will guide me and show me the way out of this darkness that is engulfing me. May I find the solution during this deep slumber…

As for the record, let me list the assignments deadline as for my own reminder:
Final Year Project: 20th August 2008
Information System Strategy: 22nd August 2008
Perspectives in System Analysis and Design: 25th August 2008
Applied Communication Technology: 29th August 2008

Basically, I’m screwed.